The current beverage craze is all about energizing yourself. This is not for me. I want to relax; I do not need anything that will give me enough energy to actually go through with my mid-afternoon fantasy of shrink wrapping my boss to her chair. (Seriously, what a menace.)What is so wrong with desiring a soda that is not diet, is not called zero and is not oddly gin-like in appearance? No soda worth its weight in industrial waste water should contain ginseng, gotu kola or B-12. B-12? That's a vitamin. How did that sneak in? This is a direct violation of CFJR (Code of Federal Junk Regulations) Title 5,218 section 691.1379: Any healthful additives introduced into consumer junk food shall be deemed adulterated and subject to comfiscation by the JJA (Junk and Junk Administration) and the company may be fined.
Personally I am glad I discovered GrandPop in the supermarket. GrandPop is everything a soda pop should be. It's a carbonated palate scrubbing jubilation that's comprised of sugar, reclaimed nuclear reactor water, FD&C Brown Lake 45 and alcohol. Mm, mm, good.
Nothing makes me want ot sit on the front porch and rock away while shouting at neighborhood kids as much as GrandPop.
Personally I am glad I discovered GrandPop in the supermarket. GrandPop is everything a soda pop should be. It's a carbonated palate scrubbing jubilation that's comprised of sugar, reclaimed nuclear reactor water, FD&C Brown Lake 45 and alcohol. Mm, mm, good.
Nothing makes me want ot sit on the front porch and rock away while shouting at neighborhood kids as much as GrandPop.
*Photo courtesy of www.ms.k12.il.us
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